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THE
DANGER CLUB
Chapter
Ten
This was gonna be a piece o' cake, Max thought, wishing he hadn't
hired T'see Chow after all. The master thief hadn't done anything
thusfar except provide Kent to disable the alarm system -- and
that looked so easy, Max was pretty sure he could've done it
himself. "What're you doing?" He whispered to T'see
-- "grab it, already!"
"Not so fast, my impatient friend." T'see removed
what looked like a small flashlight from his shoulder bag. He
and Kent both had one -- Kent's contained the lockpick set;
Max wasn't sure what else. But when T'see shone the light, it
revealed a web of lightbeams around the bust. "There are
lasers protecting each piece. The controls are probably in the
room somewhere, and the entire room isn't wired -- too expensive.
Kent, see what you can find."
"But we disabled the alarm system."
"This is a separate device -- they probably set it up just
for this showing, because the pieces are so valuable. Similar
to the ones at The De Young and MOMA, so the same people most
likely did it."
"Got it, pop," Kent called from the corner. He had
a tiny flashlight, and it was now illuminating a small box at
floor level. "Want it disabled?"
"By all means, my apprentice."
Max revised his opinion about the wisdom of hiring T'see. That
was when the lights went out. "Got it!" Kent murmured
from the corner, just as Max said, "Shit! What was that?"
"The lights went off, honey," Candy supplied helpfully.
"This girl's a genius, isn't she?" Kent remarked as
he came towards them, his tiny flashlight beam illuminating
the Buddha. T'see removed a similar light from his own bag,
replacing the laser detector, and Max carefully picked up the
Buddha, wrapping it in protective foam, and placing it in the
bowling bag he'd brought with him. A bowling bag that was identical
to the one Jerry was carrying...
***
The Danger Club members crept down the dark hallways of the
Center, finding their way to the main exhibit hall. All the
displays had been arranged, but many of the actual pieces would
arrive in the morning. There was a large banner across one wall
that read FIFTH ANNUAL NORTHERN CALIFORNIA INTERNET CONVENTION
BENEFIT. And there was their target -- the beam of Grant's large
torch illumined the bust of computer pioneer Bill Gates, resting
on its' fake marble plinth in the center of the hall. "There
it is," Ariel pointed. "The object of desire."
"I guess he was for somebody," Tess replied, "Since
he got married last year."
"With that kind of money," Gloria put in, "he
could've had three wives and none of them would've complained."
"Well, I wouldn't've been one of 'em," Ariel retorted.
"Come on, Jer -- your show now."
As they neared the plinth, Brian whistled. "Hey, it's a
damned good job," he said. "One of you two do it?"
"We're not sculptors, darling boy," Grant retorted.
"We're visual artists -- a man in Sebastopol did it. Ron
Rodgers, his name is. Wonderful stuff, he does. We were thinking
of having him do a sculpture for our garden."
"What's it made of?" Gloria asked, wondering if it
was worth anything.
"Plaster of Paris; only the coating is bronze. Rodgers
works in bronze a lot, but they wanted this particular piece
to be light enough to carry. Good thing, since we have to carry
it with us."
Jerry opened his computer bag, and removed The Energizer Bunny
with a flourish. Everyone in the group trained their flashlights
on Bill Gates, as if they had rehearsed this. Brian removed
the bust and Jerry popped the bunny in its' place, while everyone
applauded. Jerry bowed and lifted his cavernous hoop skirt,
removing a small remote-control device from one of the pockets
sewn into the lining. He held it out to Gloria. "Madame,
as our senior member, would you accept the honor of holding
the magic button. We all look forward to seeing you wield it
tomorrow morning."
Gloria grimaced at him, and made no move to take the remote.
"No, thank you. I'll gladly forgo that honor."
Jerry just grinned. "Okey doke! Hey, Grant -- you're the
next geezer in line! You take it!"
He tossed it to Grant, who caught it somewhat fumblingly. "And
what, oh irrepressible one, made you decide to give this honor
to the elders among us?"
"Mathematics. If we get caught, and they shut us up for
life for desecration to the godling of computer science, Mr.
Gates, you'll have a shorter lifetime to spend in jail."
"I'm just a pawn in the scheme of life." He slipped
the remote into his pocket. Ariel took hold of his arm and started
back the way they had come.
"Stop mucking about, you lot -- let's get outta here!"
Jerry stuffed the bust into his computer bag. "All right,
all right -- there it goes!" He hefted the bag and the
group made a concerted dash back for the main lobby, their flashlights
playing over the walls as they went, as though creating a new
living art exhibit.
It was all going well, when they heard something coming. Reluctantly,
their flashlights went to the opposite corridor and illuminated
the group that burst out into the lobby. They were dressed in
black, and Gloria recognized at least one of them, her fears
realized. The disjointed conversation that followed sounded
like gibberish to Han Sun, who had opened one of the doors and
slipped inside, and was now standing unobserved against the
wall.
"What the hell?" Grant asked as, as his flashlight
took in the splendor of Candi Kisses.
"Who are they?" Tess asked.
"Oh, look -- real thieves!" Jerry was thrilled --
this was really gonna be fun!
"Maxie!" Gloria blurted out before she could stop
herself. "What the hell are you doing here?"
T'see and Candi heard Han move in the shadows by the door, and
turned their torches on him. Kent examined the young Chinese
man. "Who's he? A cop?" Max groaned as he recognized
his nemesis.
It was only seconds, but seemed like much longer to Han, as
the pranksters also turned on him, prompted perhaps by Kent's
question about him being a cop. "Ah, shit!" was Brian's
erudite comment, while Ariel improved on this slightly with
"Oh, shit, oh, dear!"
It was Gloria who seemed most horrified of all as she blurted
out, with revulsion in her voice, "Han Sun Lee!" Both
groups appeared to be overtaken by mass hysteria and the singular
idea to be the first through the door. As they all converged
on him, Han cowered against the wall with a shriek like a tortured
banshee. He apparently thought he was about to be squashed into
a shadow of his former (and present) self.
Actually, nobody even made it to the door, a given with two
groups like The Danger Club and Max's thieves. Jerry tripped
himself on his hoop skirt and went down in a heap, taking several
others with him. Gloria, Grant and Ariel actually got as far
as the door but then couldn't manage to open it, since they
were all leaning against it to keep the others (what others
isn't certain, since the thieves hadn't even gotten that far)
from getting through first.
T'see and Kent tried to push their way through, to no avail.
Max and Candi were caught up in Jerry's skirt as he rolled about,
attempting to keep hold of his bag and right himself. All he
could manage to say, over and over, was "Omigod!"
Brian went down, bouncing on the hoop and rebounding away. He
had been holding Tess by the hand, but at this point she wisely
pulled away and went crawling toward the corner and relative
freedom. Brian tripped Candi, who had caught her high-heel in
Jerry's petticoat, and she fell on top of him, her breasts falling
neatly into his hands like two luscious melons. Brian jerked
back, bringing the woman down into his face. He managed to mutter,
"Excuse me, miss!"
Amused, Candi retorted, "What's your name, handsome? I
don't believe we've been introduced!"
Max wasn't too pleased at Candi lying on top of some stranger
-- he figured she'd probably done that one too many times already.
He attempted to catch hold of her and pull her up, but the hoop
caught him and bounced him in the opposite direction. His bowling
bag landed near Jerry's head, and he left it there, pushing
it toward the wall to keep it out of the way. Then he plunged
back in to save Candi once more, only succeeding in grabbing
hold of Brian's leg.
"Keep your filthy hands off my Candi," he bellowed.
Tess had stopped at the wall and was watching them. Now she
threw herself forward and tackled Max around the knees, pulling
him backwards on top of her. "Leave Brian alone!"
She ordered him as she pushed him ungently to the floor. "He
didn't do anything to her! She fell on 'im!"
Candi moved with surprising grace, considering the situation
and her tight black pants, and rose to her feet, brushing herself
off and shaking out her blond hair. She went to stand over Max
and Tess, regarding them like a mother with two small children
who will insist on fighting. "She's right, Maxie. I just
sort of fell into his hands -- you know how that part of my
anatomy gets in the way of everything, being so prominent. You
can stop beating on my boyfriend now, whoever you are -- I'm
perfectly capable of doing that myself. Come on, Maxie -- grab
the case and let's beat it the hell outta here!"
Max obviously saw her point, or perhaps he was just so accustomed
to following the dictates of a woman that it now came quite
naturally. He grabbed the nearest bag and scrambled to his feet
with far less alacrity than she had shown. Jerry managed to
get into a sitting position, and as Max and Candi made for the
door, Tess and Brian helped him to his feet.
Yelling, "Come on, run for it!" Jerry grabbed the
other bag and they made for the door. All this took place in
less than a minute, and once they arrived at the door it was
to find that Ariel and Gloria had taken the opportunity to indulge
their dislike for one another. Ariel had armed herself with
a little gift item from the computer show -- a plastic hammer
that made a sound like shattering glass everytime it hit something.
She was practically sitting on top of Gloria, hitting her wherever
she could with the hammer.
Over and over again she said, "Shut up, you cow -- shut
up!" Grant was wondering if the excitement of the evening
had been too much for her -- he hadn't even seen her this wound
up when they'd gone on the diplomatic mission to Iran as part
of a team of artists for the State Department, and some religious
fundamentalists had tried to destroy their exhibit.
Max stopped, apparently entranced by the sight of someone beating
on his mother. Tess now charged forward and grabbed Ariel around
the waist, pulling her away from Gloria, who was mostly engaged
in keeping her wig on. "Ariel!" Said Tess sternly,
proving she had indeed dealt with small children herself on
a regular basis, "No time for fun now! Come on!"
Jerry and Brian pulled the front doors open, whereupon everyone
attempted to go through them at once. Grant found himself in
the rear, and starting pushing people through, saying, "Let's
go, let's go, let's go!" He had started to have visions
of the police arriving and being confronted with this mob. He'd
had enough of police and mobs when he was young and stupid and
demonstrating against whatever he could think of, that particular
week.
Gloria wanted to confront Max, but couldn't get near him. So
she allowed herself to be borne along by the crowd, holding
her wig and muttering, "My son is an idiot! It was supposed
to be tomorrow!"
They erupted into the parking lot, Jerry's hoop skirt banging
against the bread truck and threatening to bring them all down
yet again...
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Click
here to read a synopsis of the movie script version of THE
DANGER CLUB.
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